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Archive for May, 2014

Carl Rogers was a famous psychologist highly noted for Person Centered (client centered) counseling theory stating that a person comes to full term with themselves through something called actualization. Not meant to be a downer, but Dr. Rogers goes on to talk about coming to actualization is something that very few people achieve. Many cultures and religions demonstrate actualization through dramatic life event. In Christianity, Jesus came up from the water of His baptism and the heavens were opened and the full declaration of His existence came into light. In Buddhism, Buddha claims this happens when a person reaches personal enlightenment. Other people such as Gandhi exhibits himself a person who has achieved actualization with his famous quote “be the change you wish to see” and he was. What this means is all that is within a person and their actions, behaviors understanding reflects their approach in the world, in their everyday lives.

There are few common traits that people share when they reach actualization. The first and most common is that they understand that the answers they seek to their problems are within them. So many times people search for answers outside of themselves they never take a minute to look within themselves. Robert Goulard (www.RobertGoulard.com) explains it this way, “children are born as spiritual beings, the younger they are the more spiritual they are. Children, don’t hold grudges they forgive naturally, they live perfectly in the moment.”

What happens between the time we are born and the time of problems experienced in life are all of the things that have had a negative impact on us and we internalize it. It turns into unresolved pain from trauma, sexual abuse, rejection, shame, addictions, depression, anxiety and the list goes on. How a person experiences these things can turn into belief systems and become definitions of how a person engages with the world around them. Loss of trust creates an illusion of how life was supposed to be, people become lost, life gets confusing and full present of the moment experienced as a child is gone. The antidote becomes pouring oneself into something they believe will help them find their way again. It becomes like an abyss in their heart that can never be filled regardless of how much stuff they throw in there. Fear and anxiety become common traits with worry about the future becoming the paramount thinking activity. Most of what we do is an attempt to avoid pain and discomfort we might experience if we just take a moment to sit down quietly and do some real self examination, to look within ourselves for the answers to all of reasons for why we do what we do.

The answers to this are within us, each one of us. We all have our own unique experiences in life and they are processed uniquely by the person that has experienced them. No two counseling sessions are alike for the same diagnosis. For example, two people with depression will experience it in their own way. The diagnosis is not different, only the way it is experienced. This is what can make therapy a bit tricky, it essentially eliminates a clear cut path to healing. Each person identifies in their own way what is being experienced affects them.

So who has the answer to a mental health issue a person is experiencing? Good question, what do you have to say about that? What will be your answer…for yourself? Those who have experienced actualization describe it as a sudden indescribable internal peace that dwells from within. Worry, fear, depression and other woes previously experienced seem to disappear. A person who is at peace with themselves is often at peace with others. It goes back to the beginning, the spiritual being of that such as child early in life.

 

 

 

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